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 You think of a widow as a little old lady sitting in a rocking chair with knitting needles. When I lost my husband, I was 50. I felt I was the only 50-year-old widow. No one could possibly have ever gone through what I was enduring. I remember not wanting to wash Stuart's clothes, because they smelled like him. I was trying to hold on to something. I would curl up and cry on his pillow every night because it smelled like him. I would bury my face in the shirt he had worn the day before and just sob. How could he be gone? I could still smell him.This was one of the last remaining parts of him. Life had no meaning, my heart and soul were shattered. I would get up in the morning and pour myself into nursing my patients with nothing to look forward to at the end of the day. I would fall asleep at night and wake up in the morning praying this was just a dream. Everyday I had to face reality, he was gone forever. I began my work day leaving my only form of solice. Dreading the end of the day when it was time to go home. Go home to what? A world of pain and sorrow. Nothing interested me. I was merely existing.In May of 2007, whether it be a miracle, destiny or by the hands of the powers that be, I met someone 10,000 miles away that would change my life forever. It began on an online karaoke site. I would pour my heart into singing songs, heart wrenching songs. It was me trying desperately to heal the pain and sorrow that I was forced to endure for nearly two years. George and I would communicate with each other thru messages, we gradually wound up talking to each other thru a messenger and then telephone calls. Here was this man miles away feeling just as lonely and alone as I was.Longing for someone to share your life with, someone to love you unconditionally. Would he ever find what he so desperately wanted and longed for all his life. My heart reached out to this man as he had reached out for mine. I found myself laughing again and the sound of his laughter made my heart sing. We were lifting each other from the pits of pain and loneliness. Many hours we spent on the phone being with each other in the only way we could. We finally had something to look forward to. I would be awakened in the morning by his phone call..."it's time to get up for work Babe"....My heart was alive again, my soul was soaring. I would skip off to work and I once again was looking forward to going home. Something I never thought would be in this lifetime for me.George had finally found someone to make his life feel it was worth living. Is there really an end to this world of loneliness. Finally there was a reason to wake up in the morning. The plans were in the making. George was coming to America. For us to feel the warmth of each other's embrace when he arrrived, is a feeling neither of us can put into words. We were married shortly thereafter with my son and daughter in law as our witnesses. A whole new world for the both us. Our lives were fulfilled. We in lieu of 10,000 miles separating us, were brought together as it was meant to be.　Our next hurdle was completing the necessary paperwork for immigration to gain him legal residence. Many hours were poured into the forms. Gathering all the necessary papers of proof to show our marriage was out of love and not out of convenience. After being here for three months George had to return to Australia being he came over on a visa waiver. The next two weeks tore our hearts apart as he was once again 10,000 miles away. The paperwork had been completed and sent off to immigration. The waiting game began.George returned a couple weeks later. He went through inspection upon arrival in L.A. and I headed to the airport to pick up my husband at a local airport. George was due to go back on May 29th, 2008. We had received the paper from immigration and our hearing date was set for June 4th. We made that long drive and felt like it was judgment day. We nervously sat in front of the hearing officer. He looked the papers over and complimented us on the thoroughness of our submissions. He informed us everything looked good, but he would need some additional information before he could approve the I-485.Nearly a decade and a half ago, George was arrested for being in possession of a small amount of marijuana. The officer stated he would need a court document of the arrest record. "most people just get the information off the internet". On the way home our spirits were lifted with hopes as getting the paper from the internet wouldn't be so difficult. George called the court in Australia and also sent them an email. He explained what he needed and why. A short time later, the court had emailed a copy of the arrest record. I had copied it off and sent it back to immigration. During the hearing George had also informed the officer that when he was 15-16 he had gone for a ride with a friend, not knowing the car was stolen and as a result he spent a few months in detention. Being of youthful status there was no records to present.The days went by so slowly as we waited for the final decision. George had began experiencing severe pain in his neck and shoulder, after many x-rays and two mri's, it was discovered he had herniated disks in the cervical area of his spine and needed surgery. Thus began many trips to the neurosurgeon miles away.Then the day came. The paper from immigration arrived on August 6th, twelve days before his scheduled surgery. Our I-485 was denied. Why? I asked in disbelief. The reason being, we had submitted an emailed copy of the court record and not an original. We were in total shock. The hearing officer said, "most people get the information off the internet". We did as he stated we could. Why was the statement made to us, if it meant he would be denied temporary status. What do we do now? We had no clue. So I searched and notified a lawyer in Buffalo for advice as to what our next step would be. I faxed him over 50 pages of forms. We had set up a telephone conference and paid $300.00 for this hour of advice. At the conclusion we were informed there was nothing we could do but wait for the removal/deportation proceeding paper to arrive from immigration. So once again, our love, our lives, our future was on hold.On August 18th, George had his surgery. Many weeks of recovery were in store for him. As a result of the surgery he had post op complications and had to undergo treatments with another Doctor. He was receiving injections in the lateral side of his neck to cauterize the optical nerves that had been touched during the surgery. Many weeks of pain my husband had to endure.Before the end of August we still had not received this "form" from immigration to report. I, not knowing what or how long it could take before the arrival of this "form". contacted a different immigration lawyer in Syracuse. She reviewed the forms we had submitted and what we had received from immigration. Her final recommendation: "you will be receiving a letter from immigration for removal/deportation." "call me as soon as you get it". The days continued on with us checking the mail daily and wondering why it was taking so long. We just wanted to get this resolved as quickly as possible so we could get on with our lives.Then our day of horror arrived on July 28th, standing at my door at 8:15 in the morning were two immigration officers. I went into the bedroom and informed my husband. We were now in a world of the unknown. All I know is that my entire body, heart and soul were sinking back down to that bottomless pit of hell. I watched as they drove away with my love, my life...my husband. I was so desperate, what do I do? Where do I go?Our daughter-in-law called the lawyer in Syracuse and informed her of what happened...."It's out of my control, but I can give you a couple names of lawyers that can assist you". Amy made phone calls, explained what had transpired. Hysteria overwhelmed me as I was facing the unknown. Not knowing where my husband is. What are they doing to him and for God's Sakes WHY? We never received the final order from immigration, so how can they just come in and take him without our explanation. In desperation, I called another lawyer that I prayed could help us straighten this out and bring my husband back home. I had paid her the $500.00 to help with my plea of help. What she informed me left me in a world of pain and sorrow. Being that my husband came over from Australia and on a visa waiver, we could not file an appeal.No letter was ever going to arrive. Both lawyers that received the $300.00 from us should have informed us that because he came over on the visa waiver he had 90 days to leave the country. No chances to file an appeal and work to correct the issue that kept him from getting approved on the I-485. If we had of been informed correctly. George would have traveled back to Australia, but instead here he is, in a Federal Detention Center being treated as if he were a criminal. An innocent man, being held in Federal Detention with no hopes of being reunited with his family. Being told when to eat, when to sleep, stand up face the camera, time to stay in bed. No rights...no rights at all! I tried calling so many numbers to get some answers.　　　Who can I talk to...where do I turn. My husband has no rights, but where are mine. As a born citizen and being a Professional Registered Nurse for more than twenty years and paying my dues to this country, where in hell are my rights to stand up for my husband. My first visit to this "detention center" was the most horrifying experience I have ever been faced with. To sit and look at my husband thru glass, talking on the telephone and longing to hold each other was more torture than words can ever explain. He is not a convict. He did nothing to go against the laws since his arrival going on two years ago. The look in his eyes is one I see every time I close my eyes. Those beautiful brown eyes that were always so bright and sparkly and so full of love and life, now was like looking into a mask of death. I was able to contact the Australian Consulate and explain things to her.My mission now was to get my husband out of that place. Thru the D.O. I learned I was responsible for purchasing his flight ticket back. Fine, I will do that, I will do anything to get this man out of that place. What hurts beyond words is we can not see each other, touch each other one more time, to hold each other. Where is justice? At this time in my life I have so coldly learned there is none. America...land of the free....free for who?So here I am once again. Living life like a "widow". Both of us suffering due to being misguided by the hearing officer. Wrong advice by two lawyers. Here we are, a middle aged couple with the dream of living whatever remaining years we have left together and not knowing what our lives will now be like. What does our future hold? Will my husband ever be able to come "home". How does one explain the horror of a family torn apart due to incompetent lawyers. Do I sell our home, leave our family and move 10,000 miles away to be with my husband. Give up my Professional License...Give up our security, our little home in the country. Lose my health insurance, Our dream......shattered hearts and souls due to an inadequate system.My husband is a wonderful man. He has been an asset to this family and everyone loves him. He never had anything negative to say about anyone. Now here we are. Still longing to wake up and realize it was just a nightmare. For George, it means leaving the love he always longed for behind. His FAMILY. Going back to a country he left nearly two years ago, back to longing to be with someone who loved him as much as he loved them.George is and always will be a crucial part of a most beautiful family. A family that will stop at nothing, until he is back home again! Our dream......shattered hearts and souls due to an inadequate system. Ten more years until retirement with a 10 year ban.